my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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