Jerry, you need to find god
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
