areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
