We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
