TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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