We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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