I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
