May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
