just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
