you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
