I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
be right there i have to get my cape
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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