is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
