I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
