By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
