So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I know her cup size but not her name....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
