This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
