I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
