You're so nebulous sometimes
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
