Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
