Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
