If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
