Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
