We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
