he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
