dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Welp...herpes.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
