I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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