K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
