THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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