I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
