need another drink. this is the easiest way
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
