bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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