It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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