people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
