this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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