At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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