Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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