We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
