A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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