He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
