I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
