oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
