my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
