I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
