Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
