She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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