I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
