We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
