It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
