Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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