Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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