Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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