she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
