quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
